1) “I’ve never sat in a meeting and asked anyone to help Duduzane. Never,” – to a question from Democratic Alliance leader Mmusi Maimane, based on an affidavit against Zuma by Brent Simmons.

2) “I have answered the question. I have never done such a thing. You have my answer, honourable member,” – to DA chief whip John Steenhuisen, when he accused Zuma of not answering whether he would take court action against Simmons.

3) “I don’t take action in court against people like yourself,” – to Julius Malema, who had taunted Zuma to take him to court for the use of the term “Duduzane’s father”.

4) “I’m not firing the honourable [Faith] Muthambi. I have not made that decision,” – to Agang SA MP Andries Tlouamma.

5) “I have not opened the country up to abuse. Part of the reason we have laws in the country is that when someone commits a crime, there are law enforcement agencies who deal with that.

“The police were very active and very involved in dealing with that matter,” – again to Tlouamma, on the decision to grant Grace Mugabe diplomatic immunity.

6) “I don’t know what happened, and how the matter came to the point that it came.

“The actions were taken, the police were there, they dealt with the matter, then the issue of diplomatic immunity came about, and I can’t answer that detail. I can’t lie,” – to IFP MP Liezl van der Merwe on the Grace Mugabe decision.

7) “Standing here, I don’t know who the people are who are abusing women. I’m sure those who have knowledge will do the right thing.

“In my Cabinet, I don’t know, I haven’t seen anyone. I’m sure if I knew, I’d be able to report,” – again to van der Merwe, who had asked Zuma if he would follow up on minister Bathabile Dlamini’s comment that there are “worse” offenders of abuse in government than Mduduzi Manana.

8) “I’m not a lawyer. I don’t know the points of law, and I was not involved in this process. How it was done, I would be lying if I speculate.

President Jacob Zuma did his best to dodge some testing questions from opposition MPs in Parliament on Thursday.

Zuma faced a grilling in the House, the first since the failed motion of no confidence via secret ballot.

– See the Live Update.

The Economic Freedom Fighters also decided to end their boycott of Zuma’s question sessions, adding an expected extra element of spice to the proceedings.

To numerous questions throughout the course of the three-hour sitting, Zuma frustrated his sparring partners.

Here is a collection of some of the best non-quotes from the president of the republic:


“So I’m not going to give you an answer that is not there,” to Maimane on the Grace Mugabe decision.

Following the conclusion of the last question, opposition MPs could be heard crying, “That’s our president!”, which was followed by Zuma’s customary laugh.

Zuma has one more question session to face in Parliament this year. It will take place in the fourth term, which begins from October 2.

Read an account of Zuma’s last question session back in June: